Dairy Cow = Smarter Than Cyclists

Dairy Cow = Smarter Than Cyclists

Cow Tipping, according to Wikipedia (which we know is never wrong), is the act of sneaking up to a sleeping, upright cow and pushing it over. Having grown up in a rural area I can honestly say that I’ve never taken part in playing tricks on unsuspecting bovine. Heck, I love cows. Without them how would we get chocolate milk?

Roadie Tipping is very similar to Cow Tipping in that a road cyclist falls over while attached to their bicycle. What is peculiar about Roadie Tipping though is that it can occur whether you’re sleeping on the bike or not and almost always happens while your not moving. Here are some examples:

  1. Playing chicken. You roll up to a four-way stop the same time a car does. Being the good cyclist you are you come to a full-stop and execute the perfect track stand so the car can go. The only problem is that your track stand endurance is about two seconds. Meanwhile, the drive of the car is waiting on you to bust a move. Or maybe they’re just blown away by your epic track stand awesomeness. Whatever it is, your two seconds of bike handling skills are gone in a flash and before you know it you’re laying on your side and have now become a Roadie Tipping statistic. Meanwhile, the car driver just shakes their head and drives off. Or they could add insult to injury, roll down their window, and ask if you’re OK.
  2. Rolling from a stop. If you successfully negotiated the chicken deul with the car at the stop sign you still aren’t home free. When getting rolling again from that stop you are very susceptible to Roadie Tipping. Why? Because if you don’t give it a big enough push to actually turn the pedals over then you could easily find yourself not moving with both feet clipped in. Add in other factors like a car that’s just pulled up behind you and a slight incline that kills your momentum and you’re a prime candidate for Roadie Tipping.
  3. Practicing Bike Handling Skills. Ever worked on those figure-eight drills where you roll around in a figure-eight pattern to practice turning in tight spaces and shifting your weight while cornering? If not, their good practice but can also be high on the Roadie Tipping Hazard Scale. You’ll quickly realize, after two whole figure eights, that you’ve mastered this skill immediately and wonder if you’ve missed your calling as a professional cyclist. Next you set about trying to carve the tightest turn you can. That’s when it gets dangerous and you end up the way of the sleeping bovine plus some road rash.

Cow Tipping is a myth (cows don’t sleep standing up) but Roadie Tipping isn’t. It’s also a popular myth that it’s easy to tip over a cow because their dim-witted and weak in the legs (kinda reminds of a cyclist I know). This is also untrue. It is true though that a cow has tipped a cyclist.